Friday, July 20, 2012

Stillness

In the world of motherhood just when you have a bad day where you spend moments wishing you could throw on some glitter high heels and go out clubbing (before realizing, of course, that clubbing makes my head hurt, slimey club men make me want a shower and glitter high heels give me blisters) you wake up to a completely different world.

a little background- my daughter is, like every other baby her age, teething. Also like other babies she is not handling it well. We tolerate it during the day mostly because she is a happy go lucky baby that is easily distracted from her pain... nighttime is a different story.

For the last several nights, she has woken up around 1 ish screaming in pain. Like any other mother this is heartbreaking (and annoying- seriously Mr. Tooth JUST COME THROUGH ALREADY AND CEASE THIS TORTURE!!)

so I break all the rules about night time waking and rock her and shh her until her tylenol kicks in (god bless you painkillers!) She finally falls asleep in my arms (I know, bad mommy, breaking sleep training rules!)

Its this moment that I love the most about being a mother. Yea, Awake Baby is a lot of fun and her smiles and giggles are precious but her daddy gets those too. This moment, this silent golden moment of complete contentment, is mine alone. No one has seen this moment, but me. Just us in her room the nightlight casting its gentle amber glow. My beautiful daughter snuggled against my chest, breathing softly (ok snoring)with the faintest hint of a contented smile on her face. It brings me back to those early blissful days when I just held her after she dozed into her milk coma (ok I was terrified to wake her but recollection softens those memories). Outside, nothing moves, not even the wind. Inside the only movement is slow sway of my rocking chair. Everywhere around us is stillness and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

3 comments:

  1. YES. This is so true. And one of the reasons I end up sitting around all evening holding my passed-out 2-month-old after his big brother's in bed while he sleeps. I know, he should be sleeping in his own bed, but I can't help trying to savor those moments (and I think the second time around you realize how fleeting they really are, whereas the first time, you're just trying to muddle your way through everything).

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  2. I completely know where you are coming from. My little girl is cutting teeth too and what was a once amazing little sleeper is now a " wake at 2 and again at 4" sleeper... But my heart is so happy when I creep into her room when she is crying and she immediately puts her head on my shoulder and I sway her back to sleep.

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  3. Stillness! I LOVE IT. That is the perfect way to describe it.

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